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[empression]

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[empression]

[ She just moves to her feet from where she was sitting and walks over to him, expression unreadable beyond a layer of "very tired". ]

...

[ She doesn't say anything, she just gazes at him. ]

[mindthebass]

(... the dark undereyes. she didn't sleep, evidently so. he feels bad for that, it's not like people lose sleep over him very often.

and she's too close, so he takes the cigarette out of his lips to distance it from her.)

...

[empression]

...

[ She just reaches out and pulls him into a hug. ]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not realizing. I'm sorry for making you feel that it was safer to lie to me about your age. I'm sorry for not being able to support you, Shin-kun.

I don't know what you've been through. I'm sure you have your reasons. I'm sorry.

Welcome back.

[mindthebass]

(it's so unusual that he freezes. the only people to hug him are hachi and reira, and the latter has been a source of many other things than affection as of late. he hardly knows how to deal with this, so he falls quiet before a hand sets on her pink curls.)

... You have nothing to feel sorry for, I have always lied about this. It's really not about you, Haru-chan, don't feel like you should have known, because you wouldn't have... You don't have to support me, you know. I've been supporting myself for years... I'm used to it, really... So please, don't be sad, ok...?

[empression]

How can I not be sad? [ she just. Says this into his shoulder. ]

When you say you're used to it, that you've been supporting yourself for years-- that's heartbreaking to me!

[mindthebass]

... Then I won't tell you anything else. I'm sorry to make your heart break, but between seeing you sad and telling you lies, the answer is pretty clear to me. I'm sorry I made you upset.

(because he deals very well with this, doesn't he? sound solution. he stretches his arm to leave his cigarette on the counter, wrapping his arm around her trying to soothe.)

Despite all this, I'm fine. I've been through a lot, so you don't have to worry so much. I can take care of myself.

[empression]

... I'm accustomed to sadness and I'm not fond of being told lies for my sake.

[ Firmly, even as her arms tighten around him. ]

And I would be more sad if you didn't tell me, simply because you didn't want to hurt me. If it's because it hurts you to speak about, that's fine, I won't press.

cw sw and grooming can come up from the rest of this convo

[mindthebass]

(for once, shin's a bit taller than someone else, so he'll get a bit on the tips of his toes to set his chin on her head.)

It doesn't hurt me at all. I've survived, haven't I?-- but... Alright. Just... Don't think too much about it, it will only upset you and then I'll be upset and second-guessing my decision to tell you.

(he separates from her, taking her hand to guide her to their minuscule table, bringing his cigarette along. he'll need it.)

I'm Scandinavian. I ran from home because it was shit a couple of years ago, and went to Tokyo, without having a lick of professional skills, or language skills, or a network to fall upon. I didn't know anyone... And I survived. That's why I am trying to tell you I'll live through anything, unfortunately.

[empression]

[ She nods, a little automatically, as she lets him lead her over to their dinky little table. She has no real idea what to expect here, but she's seen enough of society and what it's done to people doing their best to live in it that she thinks she can probably keep her reactions subdued while he's telling her. ]

... Please don't say "unfortunately". You came to Japan as a teenager and managed to pick up enough skills to survive there... I think that's amazing. [ And he wound up being a famous member of a band, she thinks she remembers him saying. That doesn't seem like a lie. ]

[mindthebass]

The skills I've picked up aren't that good elsewhere, aside from my botched Japanese.

(oh, haru. it's definitely an 'unfortunately', you're talking to someone who loathes himself. there he goes, please don't freak out.)

I was raised by a woman after that. A pimp - who really likes young boys. She taught me how to thrive like that. That's why my age and name are things I dislike disclosing, I'm sure if you dig through this place, you'll find enough - they seem to know everything, anyway. I don't mind it being known, but I like having the choice of saying it when I feel like it, and being so young, I would rather not get a headache from it.

[empression]

[ Haru is quiet as she listens. Her expression has slid back into a more subdued and neutral gaze, so she's not flinching or gasping or making shocked noises or bursting into tears, just silently processing the information as he speaks it.

... It doesn't mean she feels calm or composed, though, and as she rests her hands on her knees, she's white-knuckled. At least it's under the table. ]

To make sure I have this correctly... you performed sexual favors in order to get by?

[mindthebass]

Yep, exactly.

(although sexual favors makes it sound somewhat childish, to him. he wasn't doing anyone any favors, it was a job. a job he put a lot of effort into, very seriously as he could. kept a roof over his head.)

[empression]

[ This is just Haru trying to phrase it as delicately as possible, okay. ]

Do you... still feel as though you need to do that here?

[mindthebass]

The person I got to benefit from my contract here wouldn't be happy if I did, so I'm refraining from it.

(hachi has already asked him to stop, and then he went and got himself arrested, so. it's the very least he can do.)

[empression]

[ She thinks it'd probably be better if he himself said he didn't want to do it, but she isn't actually his mother, and it seems as though this person he'd mentioned is important enough for Shin to want to avoid upsetting them. Even hypothetically. ]

I'm glad to hear that... truly, I am. It sounds as though you've been through... an incredible amount.

[mindthebass]

(she'll never hear it, honestly. the way he sees it, he could really be rich here. he's good at what he did, perfectly practiced.

not at the risk of upsetting hachi, though.)

Just enough for me to be stubborn and tell you I'll really be fine. It's wasted worry on me, really, so even if I don't come home for days, you should know I'm alright unless I say otherwise, okay?

[empression]

... That's the thing, I... I'm not sure you would say something to me if you weren't fine.

[ Especially with how he hadn't wanted to say anything when he'd realized she was upset. ]

So I'll also have to stand my ground here, Shin-kun-- I'm going to worry. I'm always going to worry, because I care, and if I don't hear from you for several days, I'll reach out myself.

[mindthebass]

... If that's the conclusion you've come to, I suppose there's little I can do to change your mind.

(still going to die saying he isn't worth all the worry, but he's sure it's only going to prolong her upsetness, which he isn't on the table for him right now. at least, with the new information, it seems she's forgotten he barely eats.)

... I'm sorry that I worry you.

[empression]

I'm afraid I'm fairly stubborn. [ with an apologetic but somehow still unyielding smile. ]

... And as such, I'm equally afraid I'll have to request you eat at least a little more for your meals. I'm sure even if you do grow taller, you'll still be very cute. I'll even, ah... vouch for you? Being adorable?

[ SOMEHOW. ]

[mindthebass]

... It's more... Than that, really.

(it's because ryoko wouldn't want him anymore. he knows she's a wolf in sheep's skin, he's always known. after all, the sheer level of bad things he's learned under her roof should tell him as such, and they do.

... he can't bring himself to hate the one person who cared for him when no one had till then, though. it's that sad.)

Are you going to tell me about your dad now that I've told you way too much?

(it's only fair, haru!!!)

[empression]

... I can explain the situation, but there are still some things I'm unable to talk about. Is that all right?

[mindthebass]

I'm in no position to push you to talk, am I?

[empression]

[ With a little smile. ]

No. But it's just because it's not just my secret to keep.

[mindthebass]

It's called mutual destruction, Haru-chan. I've been lying through my teeth to everyone. I tell your secret, you can also open your mouth and paint me as a liar around. You can trust me, because I'm not stupid to risk it.

[empression]

Why would I ever--

[ pardon. She looks aghast. ]